The last two weeks have been the slowest in existence. I was so excited after they announced the ball to the people, but that was over a week ago. My excitement quickly disappeared as the days went by, leaving me alone in my room to sulk over whether or not this was even a good idea anymore. What if no one came? I knew that wasn’t likely; everyone would come to see Prince Charming. Why did I think it was a good idea to put myself in this situation? To openly put myself out there as this prince that I haven’t been in ages? Hauled up in my room with a bottle of pills that the royal apothecary had secretly given me for days like this, I shut myself up in my room and didn’t come out again until Captain Samson came to me and asked if I would help him with arrangements for the ball. Everything from safety, set up, the invitations to other nobles, and anything in between. A distraction is what he was offering, and it was something I knew I needed. After some prodding and some bribing, I found myself following Samson to his “war zone headquarters”, as he called it, and I’ve been there every day since.
Now, I find myself double-checking the plans for safety and security for the ball. I think I have the post of every man in the guard memorized at this point. The palace is well protected which is of the upmost importance to everyone. I’ve already been over what kind of food I’ll be eating way too much of and what kind of music I would like to be played. I left the decorations to the pros, only giving them the idea for any kind of lights--anything to make the night magical.
The one thing that keeps swimming through my mind is blue eyes and blonde hair.
I hope she comes. It would make the whole night worth it. For someone to truly see the real me. She didn’t even know I was the prince. She only knew me as Theo and that is what made me want to see her again. The night had to be perfect.
I just have to keep myself busy for the next few days until it’s time for the ball. And stay away from my very persistent father who calls me into his study nearly every day to look at the eligible nobility within the surrounding kingdoms and within our own. It was nonstop pressure from his end and it took everything within me to act interested, to be invested in a conversation I have no attachment to. It took everything out of me to even come out of my room, let alone interact with my father.
I take a deep breath and try to urge my thinking in a different direction. The longer I dwell on the things that make me unhappy, the more I feel myself spiraling and one of these days I feel like I’ll spiral down so far and too fast that there won’t be any coming back from the depths that pull me under.
If I can just make it through these next three days, I’ll be alright. I’ll see her.
But for now, security measures. Next, a fitting for my new suit father insisted I have made. And tomorrow more of the same. Maybe I’ll get outside for a walk or a ride. Perhaps I could help the gardeners prepare the grounds for the ball.
Maybe I can get back to my old self again.